


Just There

by calmgeyama



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Gen, Getting Together, M/M, awkward first kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 11:14:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14331267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calmgeyama/pseuds/calmgeyama
Summary: “You’re not going to get rid of me that easily.”It wasn’t a Taichi thing to say. Kenjirou noticed it, sometimes, the way Taichi could be softer with him than with anyone else. It gave him a sickening amount of hope, though hope for what, exactly, Kenjirou wasn’t sure.Kenjirou knows he loves his best friend. Now he just has to figure out what to do about it.





	Just There

**Author's Note:**

> special thanks to em for being my cheerleader during this entire process. you're an angel.

_ Stupid lumpy pillow. _

Kenjirou sat up, grabbed his cell phone, and yanked it out the charger with an annoyed huff. He’d been trying to fall asleep for nearly an hour and he was  _ annoyed _ . His finger tapped against the glass screen quickly, dialing the number from memory instead of searching through his contacts list.

Taichi answered after only three rings.

“Why are you calling me at eleven?”

“Why are you answering the phone at eleven?”

Taichi let out a sigh and then hummed shortly. “Fair play, Kenjirou. You know, most people are getting ready for bed by now.”

There it was, that drawl that Taichi always slipped in to when he was tired. Kenjirou felt guilty, but it passed in no time. He needed sleep too, and it was Taichi’s fault that he needed conversation before bed in the first place. Kenjirou refused to let guilt take over when Taichi had done it to himself.

“I  _ am _ ready for bed,” Kenjirou said. He let his head fall back against his headboard and looked up to his ceiling. The spackled beige was still familiar, but he missed the white concrete of his Shiratorizawa dorm: the small black smudge from where Tendou-san had proven he could kick the ceiling, the posters of American bands that Taichi liked to listen to at all hours of the day… it was almost as recognizable as his childhood room. That thought was unnerving in more ways than one. He cleared his throat of a lump that wasn’t there. “It feels weird to not have practice for four days.”

“A break will be nice.” Taichi’s voice was farther away and Kenjirou knew he had put him on speaker phone. He could picture Taichi moving about the room, heard the shuffling of clothes and knew that he was changing into one of the old shirts he always wore to bed. They were faded, some had holes in them, and none had held up against the growth spurt Taichi had gone through after their first year. They ended too close to the top of his shorts and Kenjirou thought the tiny sliver of skin Taichi was always showing off was the worst sort of distraction. “You’ve been too stressed.” Taichi’s voice was closer. “You need this break.”

Kenjirou snorted. “I’m not stressed, Taichi.”

Taichi laughed, his true snorting giggle that he never let out when they were in the company of others. It brought a reluctant grin to Kenjirou’s face. “Kenjirou, you’ve been stressed since the day I met you.”

He didn’t answer. Taichi wasn’t  _ wrong _ , exactly, but Kenjirou knew he was justified in perhaps being a bit tense. Taichi had received a sports scholarship and had even played their first year after an injury to one of the starters.  Kenjirou had studied and worked relentlessly to pass the entrance exam, and then had found himself a step behind Semi-san and had to play catch up to everyone else.

“You’re captain now, you could relax,” Taichi continued, filling the staticky silence between them. With anyone else, he would have let the conversation die, but for a reason Kenjirou was unsure of, Taichi always took control of their talks, kept the flow of words from fading.

“That’s exactly why I can’t relax and you know it,” Kenjirou said. “If I relax, you know what’s going to happen? Chaos.”

“Chaos?” Taichi snorted. “You’re being as dramatic as Tendou-san right now. Do you think Ushijima-san worried about chaos?”

“Ushijima-san didn’t have to worry about chaos because his teammates actually respected him,” Kenjirou spat out, instantly regretting the way his tone had turned harsh. He was used to losing his cool, but not with Taichi—he didn’t deserve the snipes or attitude.

Taichi shifted and the sound of him rearranging his long limbs filled Kenjirou’s ears. “The team respects you.”

“Have you met Goshiki?”

“Unfortunately.”

They both laughed before Taichi said, “You do have to admit, since Tendou-san isn’t around to butter him up anymore, he’s grown at least a little more bearable.”

“He still has a long way to go before he’ll be ready to be captain.”

“Thinking of your replacement already?”

“Aren’t you?” Kenjirou slid down and let out a huff. “I don’t want us to be panicking on graduation day because we’ve forgotten to choose our successors. You’re playing it cool, but it’s a big deal.” They’d had the same conversation a million times--Kenjirou was a worry and Taichi was too cool. 

Taichi was quiet and Kenjirou pictured him giving one of his noncommittal shrugs, the muscles of his shoulders rolling with the movement.

_ Get it together, Kenjirou. _

His mental scolding was cut off by Taichi yawning. “I’m going to draw a name from a hat for vice-captain. It’s pretty much a glorified title at this point, isn’t it? I haven’t done anything but keep Goshiki from getting beat up by that Mad Dog guy from Seijou.”

“A task only you could do.” Kenjirou laughed softly. “I don’t know why Goshiki thought he needed to have a staring contest with the guy who could’ve ripped him in half, but I’ve given up on understanding what goes on inside that idiot’s mind. And you can’t draw a name from a hat. Vice-captain is going to become very important with Goshiki being captain next year.”

“So, you admit that it’s not important now?”

Kenjirou knew Taichi wasn’t angry—his tone was playful and teasing—but he still felt the need to reassure him. “Please, I wouldn’t have managed any of this without you,” he said, his jaw clenching the instant the admission passed his lips.

_ God, could you have sounded any more desperate? _

“I think you would’ve been just fine.” Taichi sounded farther away again, his voice a whisper. “You really don’t give yourself enough credit.”

Kenjirou wanted to argue, to remind Taichi of the  _ multiple _ times he’d cried (none of which he’d ever admit to anyone else), to remind him that when Ushijima-san had told him he was the new captain, he’d almost refused and had been unable to speak until Taichi had nudged him in the ribs. There were the times that the team had been too rowdy because Washijou-sensei had left the gym and they thought that meant free time. Taichi had been the one to wrangle the first years back to serving practices while Kenjirou had closed his eyes and counted to twenty to calm down.

He would’ve failed several times over without Taichi.

“It’s getting late,” Kenjirou said, a yawn from Taichi punctuating his words.

“It was late when you called.”

“And it’s even later now.” The blue neon of his bedside block shone a bold  **11:37** . He hadn’t realized how much time their chat had taken up. “Good night, Taichi.”

“Good night, Kenjirou,” Taichi said with what sounded like a stifled yawn, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow night.”

He hung up before Kenjirou could respond. Of course he knew that Kenjirou would need to talk to him again.

_ Too obvious, Kenjirou. _

He was entirely too tired to argue with himself. He curled up, his phone still clutched in his hand, and was asleep in moments.

* * *

The next night, Kenjirou called earlier. It was four minutes after ten when Taichi answered the phone. Kenjirou could briefly hear music before Taichi turned it down.

“Hey.” The word came out in a breath and Kenjirou hated that he sounded so relieved.

“Hi.”

That was enough of a greeting for them. Kenjirou launched into a story complaining about his mom’s cooking and how she  _ kept putting mushrooms in things that don’t need mushrooms. _

“You don’t think any dish needs mushrooms,” Taichi said with a laugh. “You’re too picky.”

“Well that’s because mushrooms are  _ disgusting _ , Taichi.”

“Hmm,” Taichi hummed a little. Kenjirou knew he was letting him win the argument, as he always did. Taichi loved mushrooms and thought they belonged in most any dish. “Did you get that text from Tendou-san?”

The changing of subjects wasn’t the smoothest thing, but it worked for Kenjirou. “The one of him with the cardboard cutout of the actress he loves so much? He sent it to me every ten minutes until I finally responded.” Kenjirou rolled his eyes. His phone had kept going off while he was trying to study and so he’d finally sent a message back, a single thumbs up emoji.

“It had me thinking about what we were talking about the other day, about what the third years are going to do after college. I still think Tendou-san will end up doing something with television. He loves anime, so it makes sense.”

“He doesn’t seem like a behind the scenes person though, does he?”

“You miss him.” Taichi’s voice was teasing, probably to mask the fact that  _ he _ missed his fellow middle blocker.

“Not as much as Goshiki does.”

“That’s because he thinks we’re all mean to him,” Taichi said with a sigh. “Maybe we are.”

There was a moment of silence until Kenjirou let out a snort, and they both started laughing.

“You know who really used to protect Goshiki is Yamagata-san.”

Kenjirou could picture Taichi nodding. “He was terrible about it! He always told me that it was because Goshiki was fun, whatever that means.”

Kenjirou thought about all the times Yamagata-san had convinced Goshiki to go along with his and Tendou’s pranks, had laughed when Goshiki would clearly put himself in competition with Ushijima-san, and had egged Goshiki into his extra intense mode, where he’d make the dumbest mistakes and get called out by the rest of the team.

“Yamagata-san was a bully,” Kenjirou finally said, though it was with a fond smile. He missed the libero just a bit more. “How could he protect Goshiki from us when clearly Goshiki needed protecting from  _ him _ .”

Taichi gave a huff of agreement. “What do you think he’ll do?”

“He’ll do something like marketing, advertising, or whatever.” Kenjirou picked at a tiny shred of skin by his thumb nail. “Something where his smile wins him points.”

“You said all of that like an insult.”

Kenjirou shrugged and had to shift his phone against his ear again. “I don’t think it’s a bad thing, but I think Yamagata-san would love a job like that. Something where his personality counts.”

“That’s… actually really true. I forget sometimes how observant you can be.”

Kenjirou tried to ignore the way stomach flipped at the compliment.

_ It’s nothing. Nothing at all. _

“What do you think Semi-san will do?”

Taichi kept the conversation flowing. They talked about Semi-san, Reon-san, and Ushijima-san. It was a complete consensus that Ushijima-san would play volleyball until he could no longer walk, and then coach from beyond the grave.

Taichi kept going even though Kenjirou was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes.

Long after they’d hung up and Kenjirou was falling asleep, his stomach still ached from it.

Kenjirou missed Taichi more than he wanted to admit. They were talking, again, and Taichi was telling him about how his younger brother was already taller than everyone in his class, but Kenjirou could only focus on the ache that came with thinking about his future.

“Do you ever think about how we won’t see each other after this year?” The question was out before Kenjirou could catch his racing thoughts. He was being too clingy, revealing something too close to the truth.

_ Be careful, Kenjirou. _

“We’ll be at separate universities, not on separate continents.” Taichi sighed. “I know we won’t be able to see each other every day like we’re used to, but it’s not like you’ll go months without seeing me either.”

“You say that now, but what happens when we’re busy with practice and classes and jobs?”

_ You’re being too much. _

He knew it was true. He was acting like he had a right to Taichi’s time, like he had some sort of special place in Taichi’s life. Those were dangerous thoughts.

“You’re not going to get rid of me that easily.”

It wasn’t a Taichi thing to say. Kenjirou noticed it, sometimes, the way Taichi could be softer with him than with anyone else. It gave him a sickening amount of hope, though hope for  _ what _ , exactly, Kenjirou wasn’t sure.

Or so he tried to tell himself.

“Do you know what you want to study?” Kenjirou asked. He pressed a sweaty palm to his cheek and found it hot to the touch.

“I haven’t thought about it as much as I should,” Taichi admitted. He let out a huff and at the same time Kenjirou heard bedsprings creaking. “I’d love to do something with music, you know? I’ve talked to my parents about it, and they’re okay with it, but it’s an uncertain future so they’re nervous. They’d rather me be a simple business man. Guaranteed income, and all that jazz.”

Kenjirou could see Taichi in music. He always had his headphones in when they were walking to classes and in the safety of their dorm, music was played from his laptop from the time practice was over until the time they turned out the lights. Long fingers were always tapping out rhythms that Kenjirou couldn’t hear, but they somehow matched the beating of his heart.

_ You’re a useless sap, Kenjirou _ .

“I think you should do it.” He nodded as if Taichi could see him. “You should be happy.”

_ Careful. _

He couldn’t keep up with the words that keep spilling from his lips, but Taichi didn’t notice. “Thanks, Kenjirou. I have time to figure it out though. What about you?”

“What about me?” Kenjirou was tripping over the use of his given name. He heard it so infrequently, especially being away from his family, and though Taichi said it a fair amount, he was never used to the way the syllables sounded better coming from him than from anyone else.

Taichi laughed, the sound lively and  _ too much _ . “What do you want to study?”

“I don’t know.”

He didn’t. It was a problem that plagued him almost as much as the way Taichi’s allergies made his cheeks flush and his nose scrunch.

“You’re smart, so I’m sure you’ll figure something out. You’re going to continue playing volleyball?”

Kenjirou said nothing. He didn’t know how to say that he wasn’t sure if he was good enough without an ace like Ushijima or even Goshiki. The thought of being told he wasn’t  _ enough _ was a terrifying one. It was almost as terrifying as how often he thought about pulling Taichi down by his tie and kissing him quickly.

_ Too often. _

When it became clear Kenjirou wasn’t going to answer, Taichi cleared his throat, steered the conversation away from the future, or at least the future after Shiratorizawa.

“So about that time difference attack we were talking about…”

Kenjirou listened to Taichi as he prattled on, but he absorbed nothing. He was distracted by the thought, again, that Taichi was different with him. Part of him thought he was being too hopeful again, but there was no denying it, that Taichi spoke more to him than anyone else. That Taichi was always looking out for him. Moving away from uncomfortable subjects, scolding teammates that disrespected Kenjirou, making sure when they went out for sukiyaki that no mushrooms found their way into the pot, even if Taichi loved them…

Taichi’s yawn pulled Kenjirou from his thoughts.

“We should sleep,” Kenjirou said, already moving to make himself more comfortable.

“Hmm…good night, Kenjirou.”

“Good night, Taichi.”

He hung up and dropped his phone on his bed before pressing his hands hard against his cheeks. He couldn’t deny it anymore.

_ You’re in love with Taichi _ .

Kenjirou didn’t know if it was love, exactly, but he knew it was something close and that thought was all the more terrifying.

That night, though he’d listened to Taichi for over an hour, Kenjirou didn’t sleep a wink.

* * *

The following night Taichi called Kenjirou.

“One of the bands I like is coming to Japan and I want to go,” he said in lieu of a greeting. “I want you to go with me.”

Kenjirou thought about declining—he didn’t really understand Taichi’s music after all—but stopped himself.

Taichi wanted to spend time with him,  _ outside of school _ . Kenjirou knew he was reading into it too deeply, but he didn’t care. He had to take what he could get.

“Which band?” Kenjirou asked, and though Taichi knew that Kenjirou had no idea what he was talking about, he went on for ages about the band, the venue they’d be playing at, and their upcoming album.

Eventually, he trailed off and Kenjirou heard him shuffling to get into bed. “Now tell me about your day.”

Kenjirou did. He told him about his mother’s insistence that mushrooms were important for his growth even though Kenjirou had  _ research _ on his side and how his father thought it was hilarious at Kenjirou had  _ shrunk _ a centimeter at their last height check. He kept on until he felt his eyelids drooping.

“Maybe we should get some sleep.”

There was no response and he listened to the sounds of Taichi’s breaths. They were even and every so often Kenjirou heard the hitch of a snore that never quite left his throat.

Kenjirou felt more awake than he had only moments before.

“Can’t believe you fell asleep,” he muttered, turning onto his side and letting his phone balance against his ear. “What kind of friend does that?”

Kenjirou was not going to be able to sleep again. His stomach was still in knots over the concert invitation and the feeling had become so familiar that he was speaking again before he could stop himself.

“My stomach never feels settled anymore. Liking someone makes things a lot more difficult, doesn’t it?  _ You _ make my life a lot more difficult.

“I hate that I have to talk to you before I can sleep,” Kenjirou said. “That’s annoying for both of us, isn’t it? But it’s your fault. You started talking all those nights ago and now it’s engrained in my brain and all I can think of when I get in bed is that I need to talk to you. Especially now that we haven’t seen each other in days.”

_ You damn sap. _

“I don’t know why, but I’ve…well I’ve missed you.” When the words left his mouth, Kenjirou mashed his lips together. How had he let something so carefree, so close to the truth, slip?

Another snore calmed Kenjirou’s nerves. Taichi was asleep. If anything, it was the perfect time to admit everything he’d kept stored in the deepest recesses of his mind.

“I don’t want to like you the way I do,” he said, his bottom lip shaking. “It wouldn’t be fair to you, to have to shoot me down one day. You’re too nice to me. Sometimes I wish you looked at me more like Semi-san had, like you want nothing more than to beat me, or even the way Ushijima-san looked at me like I was just  _ there _ . But you don’t, do you? No, you look at me like you’re glad to see me, like your day is better because I’m around.

“You laugh your stupid laugh with me, and you wear those dumb shirts that don’t fucking fit you anymore and sometimes I can fool myself into thinking that you like me too, because you have to know what you’re doing.

“Then I remember the way you used to stare at Yamagata-san during our first year, and you’ve never looked at me like that. I know what you’re like when you like someone, and it’s not the way you are with me.

“We don’t have a lot of time left together. When I think about graduating and moving for school, I think mainly about leaving you and that’s ridiculous. I should be thinking about how everything in the city is expensive and how out of my element I’m going to be. I should be looking out for myself because who else is going to? Instead, I’m worried about when we’ll find time to see each other. How I’ll sleep without being able to wake up and hear you  _ just there _ .”

He stopped again.

“I’m glad you’re sleeping for this,” he said then, though he had many other things to say. “I’ll see you at school.”

Kenjirou hung up and that hope he’d was suddenly something else entirely. It was useless to want for things you couldn’t have.

* * *

 

 

Kenjirou was acting different. He knew he was, but he didn’t know how to fix it. Whenever he saw Taichi, which was too often, he thought of his awkward confession and he’d blush and have to distract himself in whatever way possible.

At practice it involved talking to Goshiki too much, and during classes Kenjirou suddenly had more questions for their teachers than he’d ever had before. But in their dorm, there was no way to avoid Taichi. He was there with his ill-fitting shirts and loud music, and Kenjirou was struggling.

It was four days after their last phone call and Kenjirou could feel tension in the room when he got back from a fake errand he’d told Taichi he had.

“Better get ready for practice,” Kenjirou said as he set down his school bag and reached for his volleyball gear. “I have to get there early to meet with one of the first years. I’ll see you there.”

“You’ve been avoiding me.” Taichi stood in front of Kenjirou and stared down at him, his questioning expression not at all matching his harsh tone.

“We share a room, Taichi, I can’t avoid you.” Kenjirou turned away from Taichi and busied himself with checking his bag. He couldn’t meet Taichi’s eyes. If he did, the truth would spill out and he couldn’t let that happen. He just had to make it to graduation. After that, avoiding Taichi would be easier and if luck was on his side, his feelings would fade.

“I heard you.”

Kenjirou turned back around, feeling his stomach drop as swiftly as his torso twisted. “What?”

“You thought I was sleeping, and I was, but then I woke up and you were talking about how you liked me. Were you ever going to tell me?”

Kenjirou could feel every cell in his body freeze. There was no fight or flight in the face of this danger, there was just the way he couldn’t move even though all he wanted to do was duck out of the room and figure out if he could afford a plane ticket to somewhere far, far away from Japan.

“You weren’t.” Taichi nodded slowly, his usual scowl deepening into something that had regret clawing up Kenjirou’s throat. “You were just going to let us go our separate ways and stop talking to me.”

Sometimes Taichi knew Kenjirou better than he knew himself.

“It would’ve been better that way.” His voice felt far away, like he was hearing it through a sea of static.

He had to meet Taichi’s gaze when his best friend started  _ scolding _ him. It was so unlike Taichi, to be standing there telling Kenjirou that he had no right to decide what would or would not have been better.

Kenjirou wasn’t sure what came over him. One second he was listening to Taichi tell him all the reasons he was an idiot and the next his hand was snagging Taichi’s tie. He didn’t let himself hesitate. There was a hard tug and then Kenjirou felt Taichi’s teeth knock against his lips, but he held firm.

Until his brain caught up.

He released Taichi and stepped back, his eyes wide. “I am so sorry.  _ Fuck _ .”

“What the fuck.”

Taichi’s fingers touched his lips and Kenjirou had to redirect his eyes.

_ You’re a fool, Kenjirou Kenjirou. _

He absolutely was. He  _ kissed his best friend. _ And it wasn’t even a  _ good _ kiss, it was a  _ disaster _ and  _ god he basically just kissed Taichi’s teeth _ .

_ Your first kiss was with Taichi’s teeth. Great. _

“Kenjirou, what the fuck?”

Kenjirou was moving, trying to bow around Taichi to get out of their room, but Taichi’s arm reached out and blocked his path. Kenjirou wanted to curse—of course Taichi would use his stupidly long limbs to his advantage.

“I’m sorry,” Kenjirou said again. His hands were shaking at his sides. “I’m so sorry.”

“So you can’t tell me to my face that you like me but you can just pull me into a kiss?  _ What the fuck _ ?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing for kissing me, that’s not my problem.”

Kenjirou laughed. Relief flooded him, and it felt like pure warmth. “Then what exactly is your problem?” Kenjirou asked, repeating the words Taichi so often said to him.

“My problem is that you can never just tell me what’s going on.” Taichi moved his hands and one settled on Kenjirou’s shoulder, the other on his wrist. “I can’t exactly ‘play it cool’ when you do things like that.”

Kenjirou’s skin was burning. There had to be flames coming from Taichi’s palms, like that character in the anime he made Kenjirou watch on Saturday nights after practice. They were licking their way across Kenjirou’s skin and they should’ve probably hurt, but maybe it was the look in Taichi’s eyes that was dulling the pain and he was getting closer and Kenjirou thought if he had the choice he’d want to only look into Taichi’s eyes for the rest of his li—

Taichi’s lips were warm.

And soft.

Gods, they were soft. Warm and soft and  _ it was what kisses were supposed to be _ . Kenjirou had to move closer. He wasn’t quite sure why, but Taichi had always had some sort of pull on him so maybe it was fine that he was pressed against his best friend like he couldn’t stand on his own.

“There.” Taichi drew away slowly, brought his hand up to Kenjirou’s cheek and used his thumb to rub against the flush of Kenjirou’s skin. “Better?”

Kenjirou couldn’t fight his smile. He hated Taichi a little bit. “My kiss was perfectly respectable for a first kiss.”

Taichi laughed, that stupid,  _ stupid _ laugh and leaned back to his full height. “You didn’t quite stick the landing.”

“That’s your fault! You had your mouth open!”

“ _ In shock! _ ”

“You could’ve closed it after I kissed you!”

“That lasted all of five seconds! I didn’t exactly get time to react.”

Kenjirou grabbed his tie again, gave him a second to smile softly, and then pulled him back down. Taichi’s hands were on Kenjirou’s hips and it was  _ perfect _ . It sounded cheesy in his mind, but he couldn’t think of anything but the way Taichi smelled like grass and tasted like peppermint.

Taichi was the first to pull away again and Kenjirou pouted when he did. “Don’t look like that, my neck is getting sore.” Taichi rubbed at the offending area as he spoke. “Also, uhh…we have practice in five minutes.”

“Fuck.”

They changed at a record pace and ran from their dorm to the gym, and still they were late.

Kenjirou ignored Goshiki when he asked where they’d been, tried not to hear the whispers of the first years commenting on their red cheeks. They led practice as usual, but Kenjirou noticed the way Taichi glanced at him more frequently and Kenjirou found himself purposely brushing against Taichi when they moved to switch sides of the court.

When the gym finally cleared after practice, Kenjirou sat on the wooden floor with Taichi, both sweaty and panting slightly. They’d let the others leave without doing most of the cleanups, and Kenjirou knew they’d regret it when they started the work, but he felt a contentment that should’ve been too much.

He still hadn’t  _ really _ confessed. Sure, Taichi had heard his words weeks ago, but he knew he had to tell him more. He needed Taichi to tell him too, to confirm that he felt the same as Kenjirou does.

Taichi’s long fingers were tapping against Kenjirou’s hand and though it tickled and his instincts were telling him to pull away, Kenjirou stayed put.

“You want to…talk?” Kenjirou asked and the good feeling was fading away to reality.

_ Taichi hasn’t said how he feels and what if he just wanted to kiss you, and you’re assuming it means something. _

But kisses  _ always _ meant something, didn’t they?

Kenjirou thought of Yamagata-san and his frequent dates.

_ Kisses definitely don’t always mean something _ .

“Don’t know what it means, but I always feel better with you.” Taichi kept tapping, kept looking straight ahead. “I can’t think of anyone I like more than you, and I don’t think I’d like  _ kissing _ anyone more than you.”

Kenjirou’s lips were curving up but he fought to keep his gaze on the far wall of the gym.

“I like you a lot,” Kenjirou finally said. “I’ve liked you for a long time, but we’re going to graduate and we’re going to different schools.”

“They’re not that far from each other.”

“Far enough.”

Taichi’s fingers stopped tapping and lifted Kenjirou’s hand up. He waited for Kenjirou to scoot closer and then Kenjirou was pressed into his side and their hands were tangled and Kenjirou missed it already.

“You’re overreacting.”

“I think you’re underreacting!”

“Kenjirou.”

Kenjirou stopped, took a deep breath. He thought of Taichi taping his fingers before a game, their free time spent huddled under Taichi’s quilt watching stupid animes that always ended the same, and the way Taichi sang in the shower.

“We could call each other every night, Boo.”

“Boo?” Kenjirou wasn’t sure he’d heard Taichi right, but then Taichi blushed and his tapping picked up its pace and Kenjirou knew that Taichi hadn’t meant to say it out loud. “Did you really call me  _ Boo _ ? Are you Tendou-san?”

“It’s his fault!” Taichi groaned. “He used to call you Shirabooboo and then I just shortened it to Boo in my head and now it’s just…”

Kenjirou felt light and he was going to float away at any moment because Taichi had a  _ nickname _ for him and it was cute and it was not fair. “’s not a bad nickname, I guess.” Kenjirou was trying to play it cool, so desperately trying. “I’m pretty sure Goshiki would explode if he heard you call me that though.”

“Yeah,” Taichi said, “maybe we keep this an us thing.”

_ An us thing. _

That thing like hope was fluttering in Kenjirou’s chest and he was so far gone. There was no coming back anymore. “An us thing.”

* * *

They don’t talk every night, but there’s always a text before Kenjirou falls asleep and there are songs added to their playlist weekly, and at least once a month, Taichi is knocking on Kenjirou’s door for a lunch date.

But the nights they do talk are still Kenjirou’s favorite. Taichi’s roommate, Atsumu, is loud and reminds Kenjirou of Tendou-san, but he always shuts up when Kenjirou calls after enough goading from Taichi. Taichi lets Kenjirou ramble, lets him get lost in his thoughts, and always knows just what Kenjirou needs to hear.

“And they put  _ mushrooms _ in it, Taichi!” Kenjirou is ranting and it’s stupid, but Taichi is listening as he always does. “I can never go back there.”

“Just don’t order it again, Boo.” Taichi yawns and it’s the use of the nickname that has Kenjirou realizing how late it is—he never used the nickname in front of Atsumu.

“You’re tired,” he says as he flips the page of his chemistry textbook. “You should sleep.”

Taichi yawns again. “You’re going to stay up too late again, aren’t you.” It’s not a question and Kenjirou knows he can’t lie to Taichi on this.

“It’ll be an hour, tops,” he promises. “I’ve just got to finish this reading and get my notes in order. Now you go to sleep.”

“I can hold out for another hour.”

Kenjirou sighs. Taichi is as stubborn as he is at times.

They don’t speak. Taichi plays music in the background and Kenjirou lets it wash over him as he reads about endothermic and exothermic reactions. He still never understands Taichi’s music, but he likes the way it makes him think of the nights they’d explored the city together, the bright lights and bustle the perfect backdrop for their adventures. He likes the way it reminds him of the park that sits on top of a hill that overlooks the city, the small bench that they always sit on, of Taichi’s arm around him and the way Taichi never cares that he ends up practically in his lap every time.

He finishes his work at the same time he hears Atsumu announce that he’s going to sleep. It’s not even a full minute later before the sounds of Atsumu’s snores grind through the speaker of his phone.

The sound is obnoxious, but routine, and Kenjirou figures it’s almost the same as the background music at this point. He crawls into his own bed while Taichi mutters about how “one of these days Atsumu’s going to be smothered in his sleep, and I’ll need an alibi, Boo.”

Kenjirou is under Taichi’s quilt and it doesn’t smell like him anymore, but the feel of the soft cotton patchwork is enough. These nights, Kenjirou knows, are his favorite.

He can sleep without Taichi’s voice, without him  _ just there _ , but as he listens to Taichi tell him how his roommate is snoring too loudly again, Kenjirou thinks, for perhaps the hundredth time, that he’s glad he doesn’t have to.

**Author's Note:**

> questions? comments? concerns? come shout at me on [tumblr](https://calmgeyama.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/Freckled_Trash)


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